"What are you doing?" Remus asked, and immediately regretted it. On top of it being inescapably obvious what Sirius was doing, it probably also would have been for the best had Sirius not realised that Remus was there.
Sirius's eyes snapped open, and dropped his hand into his lap. There was a red mark on the skin just under the knuckle of his index finger, and he wasn't making any effort to hide it. Remus stared.
"Er," he said.
"What does it look like?" Sirius asked.
Remus didn't answer. Sirius had always had a severe lack of anything resembling shame, but this, well. Remus had been kind of expecting-- no, hoping-- Sirius to show some kind of embarrassment at being caught out doing-- that. Remus knew he'd have been embarrassed in Sirius's situation, but then, as Sirius would probably remind him, Remus had an enormous capacity for feeling embarrassed.
It was one of Remus's less impressive qualities.
"You could have knocked," Sirius said.
"Yes," Remus conceded, "but I didn't expect you to be in here." Sirius looked at him. "It's also also my room." Sirius continued to look. "And I didn't think you'd be in here doing that."
Sirius's stare grew even blanker, if that was at all possible. "You say it like it's something to be ashamed of," he said.
"Isn't it?" said Remus.
Sirius shrugged. "I'm just practising."
"You're just-- what?"
Sirius rolled his eyes, and patted the bedspread next to him. "Practising, little one," he said.
"Don't call me that," Remus said. Sirius patted the bed a little more forcefully. Remus climbed onto it next to him. "Practising," he repeated disbelievingly.
"Yes," Sirius said. "Do you even know how long it's been since I snogged anyone?"
"What does that matter?" Remus asked. He actually had no idea how long it had been since Sirius had kissed anyone, but he did know it had been exactly seventy-three days since Sirius had kissed him, so it can't have been that long.
On the other hand, Sirius had very odd ideas of what constituted a long time.
"What does that matter?" Sirius said, and Remus nodded exaggeratedly. "It matters, because. What if I forget what to do?"
Remus let out a long-suffering breath. "I don't think that's the sort of thing you can really forget."
"Well," Sirius said, and shrugged. "Maybe not. But I'm not going to get any better if I don't practise, right?" When Remus said nothing, Sirius said, "right. And I don't want to embarrass myself the next time, yeah?"
"Yeah," Remus said quickly.
"Because," Sirius went on, "what if I was going to kiss someone, and it was so bad-- she just called it off?"
Remus shifted on the bed, knocking his shoulder against Sirius's. "I don't think a girl would actually do that," he said, uncomfortably.
"How do you know?" Sirius asked. "Like-- that's never happened to you, but maybe you're just, like, preternaturally disposed towards kissing people."
"Look," Remus said wearily. "First things first-- using big words when you're talking about stupid things doesn't make you look any smarter. Second, it's not only never happened to me, but I'm pretty sure it's never happened to you, either, because even if you were a bad kisser, I think you might have some other qualities that make up for it."
"Hey," said Sirius, and paused. He looked like he wasn't sure if he was being insulted or not. "Are you saying I'm a bad kisser?"
"What?" Remus asked. "No. I'm just saying--"
"I'm not," Sirius said loudly. "I'm not," and he showed Remus his hand in case Remus didn't believe him. It wasn't exactly the most compelling of evidence.
"I know," Remus said. "I wasn't questioning your ability."
"But--" Sirius started, and then broke off. He looked sideways at Remus, curiously. "So then-- why'd. Why'd you never kiss me again?"
Remus spluttered. "Excuse me?"
Sirius reddened, and looked at his hands, palms upturned now. He opened his mouth and closed it, then repeated, "Why'd you never kiss me again, after that time?"
"I didn't--" Remus said. He stared at Sirius. Sirius couldn't really be asking what Remus thought he was asking; that sort of thing just didn't happen. So maybe Sirius had asked him to kiss him once, but Remus was sure, certain beyond all reasonable doubt, that Sirius would never ask him a second time, only-- he just had. Kind of.
"I didn't know you wanted me to," said Remus.
"Oh," Sirius said.
Remus didn't answer. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say.
"So it wasn't-- it wasn't because I'm a bad kisser?"
Remus laughed out loud, a sharp low laugh, because what a ridiculous thing to say. Sirius winced, but Remus said, "You aren't a bad kisser."
Sirius blinked, and brought his hand up to his mouth again, but his lips remained closed. He looked at Remus, then at a fixed spot of nothing some distance away, then back at Remus. "Do you mind?" he asked, muffled around his hand.
"What?" Remus said sharply. Sirius kept looking at him, and moved his hand again. Remus swallowed. For one breathless moment, Remus was sure Sirius was going to kiss him, and Remus was already replaying the memory of Sirius's mouth on his, when Sirius lay back on his bed with a thump and covered his eyes with his hand.
Maybe not.
"Okay," Sirius said. "Okay. So I'm not a bad kisser. Right? Right?" He peeked at Remus through his fingers. "Are you sure?"
Remus took a deep breath, and licked his lips. He leaned back, and tilted his face towards Sirius's. He could feel Sirius's breath on his cheek as Sirius turned his head to look at him, still through his fingers. Remus pulled his hand away.
"Well," he said, quietly, to the sound of blood rushing in his ears. "I guess there's only one way to find out."
And when he kissed Sirius, Sirius wasn't bad at all.