The sky was a different color, after that. It was grayish-green, where it should have been blue, or maybe black. It was the way the sky was after a storm, and it seemed almost appropriate.

Everything was going to change, after that. Chris wasn't going to be there to hold him at night. Chris wasn't going to be there to make him smile. Chris wasn't going to be there to hold his hand or whisper nonsense in his ear. Chris wasn't going to be there to touch his waist when they walked together. Chris wasn't going to be there to brush his hair off his face and kiss his jaw when he wasn't feeling well.

Chris wasn't going to be there to tell him how much he loved him, after that. And it was his own god damned fault, because he couldn't be bothered to think that maybe what he wanted wasn't necessarily what Chris wanted.

He needed Chris, but he didn't think he was worth Chris' time, after that. Chris was going to hate him, and he wasn't sure if he could forgive himself.

But Chris came out, later, and maybe things were going to be okay, after that.

 

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